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Mr. Ballmer –

It’s obvious you don’t use a Windows computer for anything worth bothering with. Because if you did you would be enraged and outraged at what Windows 8 has done to you! 

The chief architect of Windows 8 is an asshole. If I were you I would ask if the guy (or gal) is in the pay of the competition, with the mission to destroy Microsoft. Yeah, I know. Probably he’s just an incompetent idiot. But let me explain why Windows 8 sucks so horrifically.

Primary? It’s destroying the menu system. Can’t even easily categorize my stuff now.  And I’m supposed to know the name ever every piece of software on my computer and search for it that way? Sure, that’s a nice feature – if it’s an addition to the regular menu! But even the Windows 7 menu is a piece of shit. It restricts me to a little window on all the programs I have installed.

FYI – on my computer under Windows 7, with a third party program that gives me the old fan-out-across-the-page style of menu, I have 3 completely filled columns. That is 120 programs and program folders. Quite a few of those folders have multiple programs in them, some of them have multiple program folders. For instance, I have a “PDF Software” folder with 10 programs in it.

Ballmer, you senile old coot! Call me senile, but I have upwards of 200 programs on my computer. These range from the Global Climate Modeler and Chimera, to epub readers, games and simulators I wrote myself! Some of them I might use once in 3 years – but when I need it, I need it! Dear god man! WTF is WRONG with you?!

You expect me to navigate that using the idiotic, hugely wasteful of screen real estate, iPhone styled screen interface? R U out of your freaking mind?!!

I use my Windows computer to do serious computing. Sure, I do email. I do blogging. I do internet surfing. I even youtube surf sometimes. For that, your idiotic, turnip-brain, toddler-suited interface is fine. But for fuck’s sake man! I can do that on a damned Nook! I can do it on a Blackberry! WTF do I need a high-powered computer to do all that for?

That means you leave me two choices:

  • I can switch to Linux. I might. I’ve considered it over the years.
  • I can buy third party menu systems. (And third party other basic utilities.)

But I gotta say Ballmer – I’m very nervous about putting another investment into a computing platform that is fighting as hard as possible to defeat my attempts to use it!