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Hello, everybody. This is Mr. Rogers, with a message for all of you, that AT&T stores more than the NSA does. And I, Mr. Rogers, assure you, that this is better.

I just want you to know that we are all friends, and it’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood.

You know that I hate to point out uncomfortable facts that might bother anyone. Truly, I do. But puhleeeze notice that there is less control over access to the AT&T database than there is to the NSA system. You need FISA approval to get access to PRISM, etc. DEA isn’t allowed access (except through backdoors probably arranged by Janet Napolitano) So why the hell does anyone want it that way?

Cuz, well, we the people of this great nation are … stupid. We can’t think our way out of a wet paper bag most days. D’oh. What’s for breakfast?

But hey! It’s Mr. Rogers here! And I must tell you that a PRISM system in private hands is way better. You see, that way, the Chinese, or any wealthy party can buy in, or bribe their way in and get what they want. It’s free enterprise! It’s Adam Smith’s invisible hand of the marketplace! Yessiree!

Best of all? Nobody’s gonna fookin’ know!