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Need I say it? World leaders spy on each other.

Dude!

Let’s get straight here. Spying on your friends, and on your enemies, allows you to trust that they aren’t lying. It is very simple. That is why everyone does it.

Paranoia rules international relations. And well it should. War is deception. Do our friends lie to us? Do leaves grow on trees? Come people, look at how common lies are in marriages, white lies, black lies, and everything in between. Even in marriages one spouse regularly decides to murder the other. On what planet do you think that international relationships are more trustable than your spouse?

In what alternate universe do you think that Angela Merkel lays all her cards face up on the table? No. She doesn’t. (I’m very sorry to burst your bubble.) Nor does Berlusconi. Nor does Vlad the Putin. Nor does Xi Jinping. Nor does Shinzo Abe. Really. They don’t. Scandalous. 

So all you yammer-hammers who seem to think the world should “just trust” each other? Uh, dude. That’s why everybody is spying! Because that channel is believable! That is how the world’s leaders trust each other!

Mr. Snowden? Mr. Greenwald? Climb back in your crib, grab your pacifier, suck on it, and shut up. Unless, that is, you want the leaders of the world to stop believing each other. If you want to drive wedges between leaders across the world, tipping the balance toward war – go for it. Yeah. Everybody does it. And that’s a good thing.

Have a granola bar. Lola needs your business!

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